And you say please, no, please,
and their long fingers worry at your eyelashes, threaten to scrape your corneas
lips thick and red, protruding
over massive molars, flat, a hundred enamel altars, tightly packed
a viscous pillar streaming from the edge of those grinning lips, translucent,
the henge of teeth gnashing,
a gasp, aghast, Agape.
Look what fear has done to my body
Now you are alone,
drawing a crimson fingernail across black slate.
And the school is empty, dead.
And you’ve made yourself a deity, several even,
but you don’t know what to do with them.
And the words catch in the glistening red wound of your throat.
a whisper scorned,
unable to make another world,
curling up on the epoxied boards and back into the drift, forever.
No, no no no no, I-
…I believe in us all.
The future is already dead and that’s okay,
try, try again,
smiling, making it good, for an eyeblink,
In the world,
Beer cans like spent shells, casings, veranda littered
there is no view, nothing now
turning from the empty skyline.
The elevator smells of tobacco smoke,
a lingering aura, some ghost
the ephemera of their life touching mine,
Screech owl, sparrowspeak
wanton bowstring glossolalia and
when I can hear the birds I know,
I know it means I am forgetting how to be alone,
and that terrifies me
so I return to the academy, determined,
staccato, makeshift songs, Olivier-
but of course the world we share with those soft wings is dying.
We have become vile and vast
Opened up our glittering miasma,
And outdoors in the night,
with the moon carving silhouettes in the world, you got a sense,
a sight, enveloped
the stark webwork of the unseen.
You unfolded it back out,
And you said, yes! I know it!
I knew you were lying, but it didn’t matter.
I wanted it too.
We wished the maw of the in-itself would save us but-
blackened critter corpses smeared against barbed wire fences
as the fires roll through the forests and the birds shriek fleeing, trailing smoke
slender-limbed automata shovelling coal into dying suns.
Firewater, oil slick, still bodies glossy sable littering the beach like black holes
What about the vermin?
All those throats and chittering limbs, carried towards catastrophe
When it rains I can feel the earth’s sublime misery.
It lifts me up.
It won’t let me fold.
Sum, ergo cogito, cogito, ergo sum
I still live, I still think:
I still have to live, for I still have to think.
Qui sunt hi..?
upon layer after geologic layer of sintered skulls,
breathing in the fumes,
but it is our responsibility, now
the only question is to know it
the only task to tell it
the only paradise to live it
All this that we’ve learned,
it only matters if with spirit,
we make use of the architecture,
pull the corpses from our mouths,
and do the work.
No one can remake a language alone,
how would we break the spine of the world, how would we bind it back up?
When I said I know nothing I meant it,
but I am willing to walk at the edge of the abyss, with you, to take the mountain,
to learn to be the mountain,
remember the mountain?
Only a charlatan behind the lectern now.
I can feel the sun through the dull windows of the classroom, and
here in the emptiness of a world that was never ours,
I find a note, a magic seal,
and all at once I am not alone.
“Let there be-”
I take up the chalk and draw the teeth, end to end, black shocked,
I can feel the others,
hear their words,
Spirit is here.
And so we go to it, singing.
We rip the cathedral from its foundations
and save all we can, of the texts,
Of the young, the scribes
I look up above the altar at the swinging body, bishop
strung up, up-side down, gaping eye sockets
trickling blood into the open book,
I cannot help but smile.
I let myself have that, that righteousness,
I know it, and myself, I am responsible for it,
and before I turn away to the new world I banish it.
I can feel someone’s hand in mine, can feel tears,
toppling into it,
letting it take,
“Let there be life.”
And we walk out into the petrified dawn
nothing left to do but finally start, in earnest, the march toward infinity.